I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
