Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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