apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
