If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
