i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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