I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
pray to the hookup gods
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
