Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I could make wine with my vomit
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
