just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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