Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
