ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
