My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
