I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize