Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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