just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
