My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
