its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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