I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
