Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
