I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can i not drive my cunt home
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
