At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
