She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
