it hurts more in the daytime
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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