I heard we made out
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
