I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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