i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
