Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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