Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
