I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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