yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
