I just cut my nipple shaving
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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