Where are you?
In a non slutty way
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
