Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
