We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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