Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
