Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
