I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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