i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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