Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
