Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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