did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
