Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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