I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
