i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
