I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
