We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
