I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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