Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
