i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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