Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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