she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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