Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
