You're my little dorito
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
